City of God (2002)

Title: 'City of God' (Cidade de Deus - 2002)
Genre: Top 10 of all time
Rating: 9/10

Look out. That there is the highest rating to date on this here blog. That's gotta mean something, right? Now I don't want my ranting and foaming to build up your expectations super high, 'cause that's a sure fire way to take the steam out of a movie... 'Eh, it was good, but it wasn't that good'... Let's face it, if you know the flavor of this site, you know I can get a little outta hand. That said, this movie is better than dirty dirty, tooth 'n nail, I can't feel my legs, sex. So, here we go...

This movie is so raw and so fresh. This movie takes more risks and has more energy than 'Trainspotting' (1996). Which to me, up until this point has been the mark to beat. They shot this film in the slums of Brazil. Let me just say that South America is home to the most beautiful countries and gorgeous people in the world. Let me also say that there is no fucking way I am ever vacationing in South America.

Fuck that.

You will get kidnapped. Like, for certain, you will get kidnapped. Columbia, specifically, is the kidnap capital of the world, with 2986 people kidnapped in 2002... An average of 8 victims a day. Brazil is the Kidnap-For-Ransom capital of the world, as in, we're heading to the ATM machine now, or I am putting many bullets in you.

It's like being alone in Tijuana at sunset, only with less trinkets and more fear. With fear all huge and with exclamation points like so: FEAR!!!!!!!

Fun Fact!: In Brazil, there's less ASPCA and state laws to make sure that animals and kids don't get dicked with while you're filming. So if you need to chase down a chicken in a car, gas that mofo, we got more if you accidentally run it over. Need to make a kid cry? Slap that li'l mofo. Seriously, the performances they got out of the kids in this movie? There's no way that was just acting. Ever heard that story about how Spielburg got that little kid to act all surprised and bewildered in 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), he had one crew member in a gorilla suit and another as a clown, pop out of a box off-camera. That's cute. In 'City of God', those kids were teased and berated for weeks to elicit their performances. Child protective services? Fuck off. 2 minutes into this movie you know that these guys aren't playing by the rules. It's o.k. to sweat a little bit. Remember to take the occasional standing break to thwart the onset of 'swamp-ass'.

The rest of the actors look like they're either shit-scared or having the time of their lives. Probably both. Many of them were actually picked out of the slums of Brazil. You can tell they're the real deal. The editor and director, everybody is thrashin' punk-rock. They don't feel influenced by anything or any precedent, and they could care fuck-all about what anyone else thinks. There's more chemistry in this movie than a Sacramento meth lab and more energy than the 'Electric Light Parade'. Every other minute you're just floored like Foreman, 'Oh Fuck. They did not!'. It's like you're watching a genius scratch DJ, only these guys are pulling off catapillar scratches and dropping 'f-f-f-freshhhh' bombs with the picture. It's just beautifully insane. The whole movie is polished so clean. And it's got a rad sepia-tone jive goin' on. All bronze but solid gold.

The main player goes by the name of 'Rocket', and man, I was studying his moves like Kasparov 'n Big Blue. That dude is mellow like a pancake lunch. Awesome. The other characters were just as stellar as their names, 'Knockout Ned', 'Li'l Dice' and Li'l Ze', 'Shaggy', 'Carrot', 'Tuba'...

On top of all that, the soundtrack was on fire. Go out and buy that thing, for real. If the sun is shining and that music is playing, then there's not much else you can do. If you drive a convertable, keep your hand on the stick, 'cause the guys and gals will seriously triple-jump across traffic and into your car. Drive two blocks and, if you still haven't got yourself a dinner date, then you're just not pumpin' those salsa jams loud enough.

I don't wanna push this any further. Let me say that I walked away feeling like someone had offered to crack my back, only they missed and cracked my brain. Like full-on knee pressure, then... *pop* This was the second time I've seen this thing, and it was even better.

Judgement: Watch this thing, and invite me over when you do.