The Human Stain (2004)
Title: 'The Human Stain' (2004)
Genre: Oscar attempt
Rating: 6.5/10
This movie is more disjointed than Evel Knievel after he tried to jump those 13 Pepsi delivery trucks.
And dude, that mofo has 35 broken bones. For reals. I don't know what the fuck happened. It's like they tried to put every theme of any movie that has ever won an oscar into 105 minutes of train-wreckery. Racism (Monster's Ball), death (The Sea Inside), family conflict ('The Godfather'), institutional nutjobs ('Cuckoo's Nest') , Ivy league school drama (Good Will Hunting), blind-siding plot twists ('The Crying Game'), etc. and so forth. Even with Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Gary Sinese and Ed Harris, you're still gonna fuck it up.
The plot summary on the DVD case reads something like this:
Coleman Silk (Hopkins), is a professor with a terrible secret that he has kept for 50 years, when that secret is revealed, it will ruin his entire life.'
That secret is so ri-goddamn-diculous. I can't stand it. No spoilers though, right? Fuck it. Save yourself from this movie. If you want to know that terrible secret, highlight the blank space below this sentence.
Anthony Hopkins is a black guy passing it off like he's a white guy
I'm dead serious. On top of that, Nicole Kidman plays her most unlikable role since 'The Stepford Wives' (2004) while Ed Harris' character feels like he was dropped into the plot on a whim, then was written into a bigger role that was kinda slopped all over the existing screenplay like mayonnaise at a greasy spoon diner. Anthony Hopkins is just there for the paycheck, and Gary Sinese has the same expression on his face the whole time... Like he just walked in on his parents knockin' boots, but the show must go on.
This whole thing was a huge mess. I think all the actors walked in thinking 'Oscar time', and walked out thinking 'Bourbon Time'. Like, 'Wild Turkey, double, no ice.'.
In it's favor, There are a couple of scenes of dancing ladies that are pretty nice... But those are cancelled out by this totally inhumane scene of Hopkins and Sinese dancing cheek-to-cheek *retch*.
The only thing these guys got right was the title.
Run away.
Genre: Oscar attempt
Rating: 6.5/10
This movie is more disjointed than Evel Knievel after he tried to jump those 13 Pepsi delivery trucks.
And dude, that mofo has 35 broken bones. For reals. I don't know what the fuck happened. It's like they tried to put every theme of any movie that has ever won an oscar into 105 minutes of train-wreckery. Racism (Monster's Ball), death (The Sea Inside), family conflict ('The Godfather'), institutional nutjobs ('Cuckoo's Nest') , Ivy league school drama (Good Will Hunting), blind-siding plot twists ('The Crying Game'), etc. and so forth. Even with Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman, Gary Sinese and Ed Harris, you're still gonna fuck it up.The plot summary on the DVD case reads something like this:
Coleman Silk (Hopkins), is a professor with a terrible secret that he has kept for 50 years, when that secret is revealed, it will ruin his entire life.'
That secret is so ri-goddamn-diculous. I can't stand it. No spoilers though, right? Fuck it. Save yourself from this movie. If you want to know that terrible secret, highlight the blank space below this sentence.
Anthony Hopkins is a black guy passing it off like he's a white guy
I'm dead serious. On top of that, Nicole Kidman plays her most unlikable role since 'The Stepford Wives' (2004) while Ed Harris' character feels like he was dropped into the plot on a whim, then was written into a bigger role that was kinda slopped all over the existing screenplay like mayonnaise at a greasy spoon diner. Anthony Hopkins is just there for the paycheck, and Gary Sinese has the same expression on his face the whole time... Like he just walked in on his parents knockin' boots, but the show must go on.
This whole thing was a huge mess. I think all the actors walked in thinking 'Oscar time', and walked out thinking 'Bourbon Time'. Like, 'Wild Turkey, double, no ice.'.
In it's favor, There are a couple of scenes of dancing ladies that are pretty nice... But those are cancelled out by this totally inhumane scene of Hopkins and Sinese dancing cheek-to-cheek *retch*.
The only thing these guys got right was the title.
Run away.
posted by Kong at
11:23 AM
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