Appleseed (2004)

Title: 'Appleseed'
Genre: Action (Anime)
Rating 7.5/10

Standard anime plotline about the fate of the world resting in the hands of an individual. Does that even matter much anymore though? With the exception of Studio Ghibli, 'Ghost in the Shell', 'Akira', and maybe 'Blood: The Last Vampire' most anime story lines serve as a tenuous string utilized as an excuse for action sequences.

Some action is subpar, some of it is amazing. Often enough to warrent a recommendation. 'Ninja Scroll' (1993), 'Blue Six' (1998), 'Spriggan' (1998)... The last two are among the beginnings of a new brand of anime: A crossbreed of CGI amd cel animation. The CGI is most often used to create intricate backgrounds, vehicles, and a sense of depth. 'Spriggan' was the 1st movie of its kind I saw and it totally made me wet my socks off. The visuals are insane. But the storyline of that movie coulda been switched with 'Appleseed' and not many would notice.

So what makes Appleseed different? Something I'm not too fond of: Cel Shading. I hate Cel Shading. It first appeared while I was at college and was cool for, oh, about 2 days. Then all the games came out with that crap and I pissed and moaned like Whiney McGrumblepants. It's dumb.

He's a simple explanation of Cel Shading. Usually when a sphere is rendered on a computer, the shading is based on real life lighting. A subtle gradient from the hottest (the area closest to the light source) point of the sphere, to the coolest (the area in shadow). Usually an average gradient from white to grey to black.

A cell shaded sphere has no gradients. The computer paints the area closest to the camera, white. And the area furthest, black. So now your 3D sphere looks 2D, a white circle with a black outline. No grey.

You can tweak your cel shading tool to allow varying amounts of grey on our sphere. But these are still represented as solids, no gradients, or softness from higher to lower shade values.

Make sense? No? Well here, if you're ever confronted with a question on this topic simply focus on the following equation:

'Cel Shading' = Suck Ass.
e.g.: 'Cel Shading' x 'Good Intention' + 'Major Talent' = Suck Ass.

It's an absolute, you see? Good. Well, the producers of 'Appleseed' made the unfortunate decision of making the *characters* of the story, cel shaded. They sure wrote a fancy Cel Shader though, *almost* good enough to make them look as if they were actually drawn. And remember:

Drawn = Warm
CGI = Cold (but we're working on that)

So, while this movie had kick-ass design, incredible action sequences and a so-so plotline. It had all the warmth of a penguins nuts.

Please keep the characters drawn. Please, I'll be good. I'll stop sneaking the occasional Macadamia nut out of the bulk section of Whole Foods. I'll stop trying to figure out how Blockbuster keeps their DVD cases closed with that lil' yellow piece of plastic, then pops 'em open like a bartender. Please, Anime, you make me want to be a better man.

If this 'Toon had 'drawn' characters I would've upped it's rating by 1 point, but it doesn't and it distracted me for most of the movie, except for the awesome s'plosions and tearing of metal.

The DVD has a neat bonus that'll cue the movie up to one of the artists on the soundtrack and play it through, kinda like a music video. Paul Oakenfold is on there, but don't ask me who else.

Rent it if you don't give a shit about Cel Shading and/or love them fancy Japanese Punk Rockin' Robots/Cyborgs.