The Jacket (2005)
Title: 'The Jacket'
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Rating: 7.5
This movie stars Adrien Brody and his eyebrows, Kris Kristofferson and his made-up name, Jennifer Lason-Leigh who keeps her shirt on for this entire movie (for reals, the whole thing), and Keira Knightly, the less than talented byproduct from the night the Scientologists used their 'Y-Energy Transmuters' to procreate Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder.
I saw Adrien Brody interviewed a few months back, and he was totally *raging*, hardcore grinding his eyebrows into Leeza Gibbons face because he was so burned about the way the movie had been marketed. He was right. The studio had marketed it as a psycho-horror film. But it isn't. I'm not one to spoil things about movies, because if anyone did that to me I'd go back to my room, and think about how much I hated your ineptness for a good part of a night. Also, how you wore your boots around the house ALL the time. What *is* that? You're a jerkface.
So, this isn't a horror movie. But it does have some freaky shit. This was in trailer, so it's not a spoiler unless you live under a bridge (which I happen to think is pretty punk rock, so rock it onward, slugger). Most of the freaky's were when Adrien and his eyebrows got their meatbags dumped in a morgue drawer for hours at a time. A'la 'The Vanishing' (1993), a'la 'Kill Bill vol. II' (2004), a'la 'Madagasgar' (2005), ala dee da dee doopity doo. The story doesn't make any frikkin' sense. but it's fun. And it's nice to see Jason-Leigh with her top on.
Adrien Brody is a talented guy, he got an Oscar for that piano movie, just like Anna Paquin got one for that other piano movie. Holy shit! Do you remember her exceptance speech? Millions watched an eleven year old hyperventilate on stage for way over 30 seconds. It was awesome. You kept waiting for the wrap-up music, but it didn't come. The producers totally wanted her to pass out on stage. Rad! She didn't get a single word out, she just took machine-gun breaths of air and looked like she was watching her parents get decapitated. I hated it when they finally cut away. That's so bogus. Let the kid collapse, for McGuillacutty's sake. You built her, now see if she breaks.
The other thing I wanted to mention about Adrien Brody is that he has Betty Boop eyelids. When he closes those things they're totally purple. Like the old Fleischer and Warner Bros. cartoon characatures of Sinatra and all the old jazzy people that are dead now. I was gonna say Penis Purple, but this ain't that kind of review.
Rent it. Good 'date movie'. I think Knightly might be the new Jason-Leigh, knowuttamean?
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Rating: 7.5
This movie stars Adrien Brody and his eyebrows, Kris Kristofferson and his made-up name, Jennifer Lason-Leigh who keeps her shirt on for this entire movie (for reals, the whole thing), and Keira Knightly, the less than talented byproduct from the night the Scientologists used their 'Y-Energy Transmuters' to procreate Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder.
I saw Adrien Brody interviewed a few months back, and he was totally *raging*, hardcore grinding his eyebrows into Leeza Gibbons face because he was so burned about the way the movie had been marketed. He was right. The studio had marketed it as a psycho-horror film. But it isn't. I'm not one to spoil things about movies, because if anyone did that to me I'd go back to my room, and think about how much I hated your ineptness for a good part of a night. Also, how you wore your boots around the house ALL the time. What *is* that? You're a jerkface.
So, this isn't a horror movie. But it does have some freaky shit. This was in trailer, so it's not a spoiler unless you live under a bridge (which I happen to think is pretty punk rock, so rock it onward, slugger). Most of the freaky's were when Adrien and his eyebrows got their meatbags dumped in a morgue drawer for hours at a time. A'la 'The Vanishing' (1993), a'la 'Kill Bill vol. II' (2004), a'la 'Madagasgar' (2005), ala dee da dee doopity doo. The story doesn't make any frikkin' sense. but it's fun. And it's nice to see Jason-Leigh with her top on.
Adrien Brody is a talented guy, he got an Oscar for that piano movie, just like Anna Paquin got one for that other piano movie. Holy shit! Do you remember her exceptance speech? Millions watched an eleven year old hyperventilate on stage for way over 30 seconds. It was awesome. You kept waiting for the wrap-up music, but it didn't come. The producers totally wanted her to pass out on stage. Rad! She didn't get a single word out, she just took machine-gun breaths of air and looked like she was watching her parents get decapitated. I hated it when they finally cut away. That's so bogus. Let the kid collapse, for McGuillacutty's sake. You built her, now see if she breaks.
The other thing I wanted to mention about Adrien Brody is that he has Betty Boop eyelids. When he closes those things they're totally purple. Like the old Fleischer and Warner Bros. cartoon characatures of Sinatra and all the old jazzy people that are dead now. I was gonna say Penis Purple, but this ain't that kind of review.
Rent it. Good 'date movie'. I think Knightly might be the new Jason-Leigh, knowuttamean?
posted by Kong at
11:39 AM
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