Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
Movie: 'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow'
Genre: Action, stylized 'look what I can do with my computer' tomfoolery
Rating: 2/10
I came home last night ready to watch 'In the Name of the Father' (1993), but my roommate had beat me to my DVD player and was just starting to watch 'Sky Captain'.
"Have you seen this already?", she asked.
"Uhhhh, not all the way through. I lasted about 20 minutes before I gave up on it."
"I can go watch it my room if you want."
"No, give it a go. Maybe you'll be into it."
"Prolly not, my friends hated it too."
God damn, this movie is a slop heap.
The post-production guys went apeshit with the edge glow filter and highlighting the actors eyes, 1930's style. This was a Hail Mary play, an effort to hide that the whole thing looks like it was a student final at the Art Academy. The robots are a total rip-off of 'Iron Giant', only stupid and made out of tinkertoys.
I heard the director started working on it in his garage, then managed to get funding for some recognizable talent. Most of whom lean more towards recognizable than talented. I think it's safe to assume that at least 80% of the budget found it's way into the actors pockets.
Jude Law: Gosh, he's purdy. I can't think of a single movie I've enjoyed of his, 'cept maybe 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' and 'Closer'. But that's just because he got destroyed in both of 'em.
Gwyneth Paltrow: A walking Gap ad with all the complexity of a wood nail. This chick got an oscar? Can I get one too?
Angelina Jolie: Apparently I'm in the sliver of a minority who doesn't even think this gal is homecoming queen material. Can someone with the right qualifications drain those lips before she has trouble breathing through her nostrils. Didn't she win something too? I hate awards. Send this woman back to her peacework in Africa, where the locals can marvel that each of her lips are wider than their arms.
Giovanni Ribisi: I like this guy. 'Saving Private Ryan', 'Lost in Translation', 'Suburbia'... That's good enough for me. So his agent fucked up and got him involved in this train wreck. Whaddaya gonna do?
So, I told my roommate to give it ago, and she did. I lasted the same 20 minutes, I heard her shut it down after 30. Good for her. Maybe if the movie had the theme from 'Rocky' continously playing in the background, we could go even longer. It's like climbing those steps with Tapatio sauce in your eyes and loose change jammed into your ear canal.
If anyone has seen this all the way through, let me know if it gets anymore watchable, or, more likely, if you found yourself coughing up lung butter.
Genre: Action, stylized 'look what I can do with my computer' tomfoolery
Rating: 2/10
I came home last night ready to watch 'In the Name of the Father' (1993), but my roommate had beat me to my DVD player and was just starting to watch 'Sky Captain'.
"Have you seen this already?", she asked.
"Uhhhh, not all the way through. I lasted about 20 minutes before I gave up on it."
"I can go watch it my room if you want."
"No, give it a go. Maybe you'll be into it."
"Prolly not, my friends hated it too."
God damn, this movie is a slop heap.
The post-production guys went apeshit with the edge glow filter and highlighting the actors eyes, 1930's style. This was a Hail Mary play, an effort to hide that the whole thing looks like it was a student final at the Art Academy. The robots are a total rip-off of 'Iron Giant', only stupid and made out of tinkertoys.
I heard the director started working on it in his garage, then managed to get funding for some recognizable talent. Most of whom lean more towards recognizable than talented. I think it's safe to assume that at least 80% of the budget found it's way into the actors pockets.
Jude Law: Gosh, he's purdy. I can't think of a single movie I've enjoyed of his, 'cept maybe 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' and 'Closer'. But that's just because he got destroyed in both of 'em.
Gwyneth Paltrow: A walking Gap ad with all the complexity of a wood nail. This chick got an oscar? Can I get one too?
Angelina Jolie: Apparently I'm in the sliver of a minority who doesn't even think this gal is homecoming queen material. Can someone with the right qualifications drain those lips before she has trouble breathing through her nostrils. Didn't she win something too? I hate awards. Send this woman back to her peacework in Africa, where the locals can marvel that each of her lips are wider than their arms.
Giovanni Ribisi: I like this guy. 'Saving Private Ryan', 'Lost in Translation', 'Suburbia'... That's good enough for me. So his agent fucked up and got him involved in this train wreck. Whaddaya gonna do?
So, I told my roommate to give it ago, and she did. I lasted the same 20 minutes, I heard her shut it down after 30. Good for her. Maybe if the movie had the theme from 'Rocky' continously playing in the background, we could go even longer. It's like climbing those steps with Tapatio sauce in your eyes and loose change jammed into your ear canal.
If anyone has seen this all the way through, let me know if it gets anymore watchable, or, more likely, if you found yourself coughing up lung butter.
posted by Kong at
11:14 AM
2 Comments:
Had you stayed to the end, you would have seen the most ridiculous "deus ex machina" moment ever. Our heroes are attempting to rescue some kidnapped scientists from a giant underground lair which has a giant rocket as its centerpiece. Moments after the spaceship begins its countdown, Giovanni Ribisi, who was also kidnapped, pulls up in some sort of hover pick-up truck with all of the scientists in the back. He explains how the rocket's countdown sequence confused the robot drones, all of which scattered, leaving him available to steal the vehicle, find and release the scientists, and reconnoiter with the heroes. It took him less than a minute to do this. Truly unbelievable. What should have been an exciting sequence was rendered as dialog and instead we got Law and Paltrow bickering.
On the first day of screenwriting class they tell you that it's better to show something than to have your characters describe it. Apparently this guy was sick that day.
By
DJ, at 5:29 PM
I watched it. Twice even. Just juicy eye candy. Sometimes I don't like to think too much.
-Clear
By
Anonymous, at 3:50 PM
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